Shadow:The Hoods MC(2)By: Heather West
Hopefully, one day, I could remember who I was and where I came from. Was I far from home? Could that be why no one has tried to locate me? Did I have a family? Any brothers or sisters? A boyfriend? Or maybe no one was looking for me. An orphan and an only child, with no one to wonder where I was, no one to worry. God that was a depressing thought. And my job, what had been my profession? I had a job, right? By now, my boss must have replaced me. Too much time has passed. No job, no apartment or house to stay in, nowhere to go… If I couldn't find someone from my past, how could I ever learn who I had been?
These questions and many more had plagued me every night, interrupting my sleep and fouling my mood. I kept my feelings and depression to myself, always trying to channel my frustration into my therapy sessions. It helped to some extent, and the doctors had been impressed by my outlook and my recovery. But inside, I was troubled; always wondering if these feelings would fade with time.
But right now wasn't about the past. It was about what the future held for me; and the fact that I was leaving the hospital with nothing but the clothes on my back and a bag full of Tylenol and Advil that Karen had given to me in case I had any more headaches. Nothing else. I didn't have money for any other medicine, not that I thought I would need anything stronger, but that was just one more thing to worry about. I had to pay for the hospital bill and for physical therapy. If I had been able to, I would've only needed outpatient physical therapy, but since I had nowhere to go, inpatient it was. Which, of course, meant that the amount I would owe was that much more astronomical. I had to find a place to live and a job immediately, but without a work history, what place would want to hire me?
Trying to shut my brain up and stop thinking, I grabbed the bag, shoved the signed discharge papers inside, and made my way to the elevator bank and the front doors. They opened automatically for me, and I was free. For the first time, that I could remember, I was outside, breathing the fresh Louisiana air.
All I wanted to do was rush back inside, find a corner to hide in and not move. My body had been shut down for so long that my first instinct was to run away. But I could do this. I could be strong. After all, I could walk again. I had survived the car accident, and I liked to think that I survived for a reason. I just had to find out what that reason was.
Take a deep breath. You can do this. It's just like when you were holding onto the railing to learn how to walk. One foot in front of the other. Don't be a coward, Sky. Don't you dare cry.
There were no railings in life, and I didn't need no freakin' training wheels either. So what if I had nowhere to go, no money, and no friends. I'd think of something.
By the time I reached the end of the block, the clouds had ripped open, and rain drenched me. You have got to be freakin' kidding me.
Could this get any worse?
There had to be a place I could lay low in until the rain stopped. Maybe a small restaurant… if the hostess wouldn't kick me out because I wasn't a paying customer. Besides, if I waited for the rain to stop—which didn't seem like that would happen anytime soon—it could be dark, and I sure didn't want to be walking around the streets alone at night. If I could just find a homeless shelter… Should've thought to ask Karen about the nearest one before I left. Too late now.
The storm made the night come so much quicker than it should've, not that I had a watch on to know what time it was. Clutching my bag to my chest, I quickened my pace. There were a few restaurants on this street, stores too, but I bypassed them all. I needed to find shelter for the entire night, not just an hour or so.
At least there were bright lights and people. I didn't feel quite so alone anymore, even if everyone around me were strangers. They were all passengers on this voyage we called life, and I felt a kind of kinship with them. Maybe that was silly, and maybe I was getting tired and delirious. A warm, comfortable bed sounded so good right now. I'd sleep for a week if I could.
My legs were already starting to get sore. Walking on treadmills hadn't prepared me for the uneven sidewalk, or the bumping of bodies crammed together on the narrow walkway. My balance was still a little off, but I managed to not fall despite the jostling.