The Fear That Divides Us

By: M.N. Forgy


This book is for all of those who have been tormented by pain.

Pain that keeps you from seeing a good thing when it was standing right in front of you, from seeking a path you so desperately want.

A pain that can come in many forms, both good and bad.

There is a playful spank, and there is one to mean harm.

There are words of laughter and some that are meant to judge you. Don’t let the worst keep you hostage from living.

Don’t fear the pain; fear the message behind it.

Six Years Earlier


Looking in the mirror this morning, I wince at the ghastly sight of my face. The side of my cheek is completely black and blue, and my head hums with constant pain. A token for my lack of respect toward Travis last night. This is exactly why I can’t go back to work anytime soon, no matter how much I miss being a doctor.

“I’m so stupid,” I mutter, grabbing a pair of pants and shirt to slip on. My body aches, and my wrist screams with pain from being shackled. My core is raw. I was left bleeding from the relentless abuse Travis delivered last night. I am a wreck, a fucking wreck. He’s going to kill me one day, physically and mentally, of that I am sure.

Travis came home last night, drunk, reeking of booze and expensive perfume. The hospital had another event and I am sure he had some nurse shacked up in the coat closet. But apparently, she couldn’t satisfy him, who could with his sadistic desires. He ended up coming home to me for another round.

I was asleep in bed as he slid his hand into my hair, pulling it harshly to wake me up.

“Time to go down stairs,” he breathed in to my hair, his teeth clenched in anger. That is where he always takes me to belittle me, the basement. His anger is nothing new, just my presence alone angers him. The look of disgust as he eye fucks me across the room when he’s home from work is enough to make me shutter.

“Travis, I just got Addie to sleep, please not now,” I whispered as he continued tugging my hair with a painfully strong grip. I knew it was stupid to resist, to defy him when he was in such a state; but for some reason last night, I just had enough of it. I live day-after-day in utter fear; scared I’m going to say or do the wrong thing in front of Travis.

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” he gnashed, pulling my head back so hard it brought an instant headache. I knew I was going to pay for my outburst, but it felt good to defy him. It gave me a sense of hope, of control, which I wasn’t allowed either. Hope was for those who were not owned, and control was for the strong. Travis had said those words to me countless times, each time breaking my soul into nothing but broken possibilities.

He stood up on his knees, pulling me along the bed by my hair as I tried not to scream. I didn’t want to wake Addie, but I couldn’t help it. Between the fear slamming against my chest, and the pain radiating from my head, I couldn’t hold it in. I screamed and thrashed against the mattress as he pulled me off the bed like an old blanket, my feet striking the heated floors as I was pulled off completely.

“I think you need a reminder of who your master is!” he yelled, walking out of the room, still dragging me along behind him.

The back of my ankles thrashed against each step as he rushed down the stairs into the basement, the room slowly illuminating brightness as he turned on the lights.

He let go of my hair, relief flooding my scalp, but I couldn’t gain balance quick enough, causing my palms to slam into the unforgiving concrete as I fell face first to the ground.

“Travis, please,” I begged. I don’t know why I begged; it did no good. In fact, it fueled the bastard on. My ounce of bravery was reckless. What was I thinking? I knew better.

I looked up, my vision blurry from the amount of tears rising in my eyes. I blinked them away, trying to stand, but before I could lift my leg, a hand drilled into the side of my head, causing me to fly backwards, making my head smack into the wall.

I cried out as my head rang, the sounds around me fading. With the collar being locked into place around my neck, my body instantly went into survival mode. Which was doing whatever Travis wanted from me without hassle. I was a slave in that collar, but at least I would live to see another day.

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